This weekend there was a convention of romance writers at the hotel. They were all very nice, enjoying their spa services when they could squeeze them in between their meetings. It was interesting to see the women who write the steamy novels that receive both derision and obsession. Frizzy curls decorated most of the heads of the women. From looks alone, you wouldn't think that these ladies have necessarily experienced great passion. Maybe they have and they wrote their books from experience. Maybe it is all their own personal fantasies. Maybe it is a combination of both.
Observing all these writers, some famous, has left me wondering; how do fiction authors get their ideas? I think, time and again, that I should write, to use my ability and training for something useful. I'm just not sure how to get started or really sure how to go about any of it. I know that part of my problem is a matter of confidence. I blog but I don't consider myself a blogger. I tell myself it is because I don't keep up with it enough to be a real blogger. The truth is, I don't believe what I write is any good.
I need to snap out of this mindset or my writing will never improve. I've created a loop that I am stuck in, a self-fulfilling prophesy of mediocrity. I am better than that. I want to be a better writer, a better person.
What do you want to be better at?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Great Car Search
Ahh, car shopping. How I hate it. In April I thought we had found our car and were done. Now that it has been totaled, we are back on the hunt. After the accident, I feel the need to make sure that whatever I get is awesome with safety ratings as well as a bit bigger. If someone hits me, I want them to be damaged.
We went to Nissan and looked for something in our price range. I drove a used Sentra, I think it was a 2006 model, and while it handled great, it was smaller than my 2008 Versa. If we are buying something, it needs to be bigger. While we aren't ready to have kids now, it isn't so far in the future that I can ignore space.
Now, I have always found the Cube hideous, but after getting in, I was starting to like it. I haven't driven it yet, but if it handles like the Versa did, I think I might have my answer. We still have other dealerships to look at, other brands to research.
What do you have and do you love it?
We went to Nissan and looked for something in our price range. I drove a used Sentra, I think it was a 2006 model, and while it handled great, it was smaller than my 2008 Versa. If we are buying something, it needs to be bigger. While we aren't ready to have kids now, it isn't so far in the future that I can ignore space.
Now, I have always found the Cube hideous, but after getting in, I was starting to like it. I haven't driven it yet, but if it handles like the Versa did, I think I might have my answer. We still have other dealerships to look at, other brands to research.
What do you have and do you love it?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
My BRAIN
Ugh, I have a migraine starting. Eugene and I were at my mom's for family dinner night and I could feel it creeping into the edges of my skull, worming its way in. I feel like the top and sides of my head are going to blow off from the mounting pressure. But in honor of NaBloPoMo, I still came here before collapsing into bed to sleep away the pain. That is how much I love you people on the interwebs.
Oh, I got my hair cut. Maybe I'll post pictures of the horror that it was and the amazingness that it is now tomorrow. And I do realize that I am not fully coherent or using real words. Migraine, remember?
Oh, I got my hair cut. Maybe I'll post pictures of the horror that it was and the amazingness that it is now tomorrow. And I do realize that I am not fully coherent or using real words. Migraine, remember?
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Crash
Wednesday started off as a good day. I woke up early to take Winston to the Spay and Neuter Clinic to get neutered. He had started some weird behavior and I was convinced it wouldn't be long before he started humping and spraying things. His new favorite past time was biting my hand while stomping on my arm with one foot.
I dropped Winston off and went home to take a nap. I took my time getting ready and decided to go to Borders to visit some of my old coworkers since it was a few streets away from the clinic. I had a great time catching up with friends that I hadn't seen in almost ten months. I hung out in the cafe, my old stomping ground, smiling at customers like I still worked there. It took me a minute to realize that they probably thought I was flirting since I was a random person grinning at them like a fool. Real smooth. I got a latte before I left, enjoying the taste of Seattle's Best Coffee. Every time I drink it I feel comforted. It reminds me of working with coffee, with feeling like I was great at my job. I know I am glossing over the memories, but I don't look back at my time at Borders feeling unhappy. I liked most of the people I worked with and I loved being near coffee and books.
I picked up Winston who showed his mean side to the vet techs at the clinic. They told me that they discovered likes to bite. I could have told them that. Hell, I could have just showed them my arm and the angry red marks. He was so out of it from the anesthesia. We headed out.
This is the part where I start to get frustrated with myself. I didn't have to take the roads I took. There was no reason that I HAD to be on that road, at that intersection. I took 19 because it was 4pm and traffic was getting bad. 19 is usually faster than McMullen and I was ready to get home. I didn't have to be there. But, I decided to take 19. I took the entrance ramp and was in the merging lane. Someone two cars in front of me stopped in the merge lane. I had to brake more suddenly than I like but I stopped without any problem. Someone behind me did not. I looked into my rear view mirror just before it happened. In that split second I knew this was going to be bad. There was no squeal of tires because she didn't brake. She didn't see me until right before it happened. Oh, did I mention that I was on the phone with Eugene? Yeah. I screamed as the phone flew from my hand. The airbag went off and slammed into my chest as the car behind me pushed me into the SUV in front of me. My foot was flung off the brake and my flip flop came off.
Once my car came to a stop, I was shaking like a leaf as I put the car in park. Winston's carrier was still in the passenger seat and he was jostled but ok. The woman who hit me opened my door to check on me as I started crying, not from pain but from the adrenaline rushing through my system. There was smoke in the car and I couldn't tell if it was from the airbag or if my car was about to blow up. I grabbed Winston's carrier and my purse to move away from the car. I remember thinking that I had to put my shoe on first before getting up because I didn't want to look like one of those rednecks on Cops.
Once I figured out the my car wasn't going to explode, I started frantically searching for my cell phone. I knew Eugene would be panicking and I wasn't sure what he had heard. When the paramedics came, they told me to stay out of the car since the passenger airbag had not gone off and still could. He got my phone for me and I was able to call Eugene. No one was injured or needed to go to the hospital and I am so thankful for this. Winston is great. My car is another story. That thing is totaled. Officially. I will hand it to the Nissan Versa though; the passenger cabin was not affected at all. My muscles are messed up from the impact, but I have no other injuries. I honestly can't believe I am this ok.
The woman who hit me got the ticket and Eugene picked me up as the tow truck got there to take away the remains of my car. At the time, the only thing that hurt was my head and my wrist. It could have been so much worse.
I am lucky. I am so very lucky.
I dropped Winston off and went home to take a nap. I took my time getting ready and decided to go to Borders to visit some of my old coworkers since it was a few streets away from the clinic. I had a great time catching up with friends that I hadn't seen in almost ten months. I hung out in the cafe, my old stomping ground, smiling at customers like I still worked there. It took me a minute to realize that they probably thought I was flirting since I was a random person grinning at them like a fool. Real smooth. I got a latte before I left, enjoying the taste of Seattle's Best Coffee. Every time I drink it I feel comforted. It reminds me of working with coffee, with feeling like I was great at my job. I know I am glossing over the memories, but I don't look back at my time at Borders feeling unhappy. I liked most of the people I worked with and I loved being near coffee and books.
I picked up Winston who showed his mean side to the vet techs at the clinic. They told me that they discovered likes to bite. I could have told them that. Hell, I could have just showed them my arm and the angry red marks. He was so out of it from the anesthesia. We headed out.
This is the part where I start to get frustrated with myself. I didn't have to take the roads I took. There was no reason that I HAD to be on that road, at that intersection. I took 19 because it was 4pm and traffic was getting bad. 19 is usually faster than McMullen and I was ready to get home. I didn't have to be there. But, I decided to take 19. I took the entrance ramp and was in the merging lane. Someone two cars in front of me stopped in the merge lane. I had to brake more suddenly than I like but I stopped without any problem. Someone behind me did not. I looked into my rear view mirror just before it happened. In that split second I knew this was going to be bad. There was no squeal of tires because she didn't brake. She didn't see me until right before it happened. Oh, did I mention that I was on the phone with Eugene? Yeah. I screamed as the phone flew from my hand. The airbag went off and slammed into my chest as the car behind me pushed me into the SUV in front of me. My foot was flung off the brake and my flip flop came off.
Once my car came to a stop, I was shaking like a leaf as I put the car in park. Winston's carrier was still in the passenger seat and he was jostled but ok. The woman who hit me opened my door to check on me as I started crying, not from pain but from the adrenaline rushing through my system. There was smoke in the car and I couldn't tell if it was from the airbag or if my car was about to blow up. I grabbed Winston's carrier and my purse to move away from the car. I remember thinking that I had to put my shoe on first before getting up because I didn't want to look like one of those rednecks on Cops.
Once I figured out the my car wasn't going to explode, I started frantically searching for my cell phone. I knew Eugene would be panicking and I wasn't sure what he had heard. When the paramedics came, they told me to stay out of the car since the passenger airbag had not gone off and still could. He got my phone for me and I was able to call Eugene. No one was injured or needed to go to the hospital and I am so thankful for this. Winston is great. My car is another story. That thing is totaled. Officially. I will hand it to the Nissan Versa though; the passenger cabin was not affected at all. My muscles are messed up from the impact, but I have no other injuries. I honestly can't believe I am this ok.
The woman who hit me got the ticket and Eugene picked me up as the tow truck got there to take away the remains of my car. At the time, the only thing that hurt was my head and my wrist. It could have been so much worse.
I am lucky. I am so very lucky.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
